New Beginning -When My Woy was Born

to yBefore I got married, I was a daughter being spoiled by my parents and my grandparents. I was self –centered, and just did what I liked without caring about others’ feelings. And I did not know how to be a good wife, nor know how to cook, nor had I ever done house work. My mother-in-law described me behind my back and she said that “I was kind of a woman who only knows shopping, dining and spending money and doesn’t know how to care about others”. My parents lived in the same city with me about 15km away, and they always said: “Don’t ever go to kitchen to cook by yourself. We will find you a nanny to cook and take care of you. Or just call us if you want to eat anything. We will come to your house and make it. Don’t go into the kitchen because it’s dangerous, you cannot handle the gas oven because you never used that before…”

At that time, we had a worker who did all the housework and cooking for us and I thought that’s my life.

Until one day, I felt a bit uncomfortable and I went to a doctor. That day I was told that I had got pregnant! And I was going to be a mother! I could not believe my ears. I didn’t feel I was ready to be a mother. ., and I thought I was my mother’s child although I was already in my twenties!

In the first 3 months, I was undergoing serious morning sickness. I threw up everything immediately whatever I ate. I felt dizzy all the time. Sometimes I fainted because I could not eat anything and was so weak…at that time I thought why is it so hard to be a mother?

One day after 5 months, when I was lying on the couch and was reading a book, I felt something move a little bit in my belly, very gentle, hardly could feel it. I put down the book and was wondering: what is this? Nothing happened, then I continued reading. Again it happened, very slightly and this time it tickled. I stopped reading and I put all my concentration on the sensation. I wanted to know what’s happening. It was like a small fish swimming in my belly. Very light, mild, gentle like a bubble but I could feel it was a happy and naughty fish!

I checked the pregnant woman’s dictionary and got to know that it was my baby using his way to communicate with me:” hey, Mom, can you feel me?” Suddenly, I felt great! Woo, a baby’s new life is starting in my body!

I began to have a better appetite, and I learnt that I had to eat for my baby, I couldn’t have the freedom to go on a diet , as I liked to be skinny before. I used to be a picky eater. But I started to eat lots of different foods, which I has disliked before but because according to books, they were good for my baby. I changed my bad life style habits, and started to sleep early and eat lots of fruits, fish, and vegetables and protein rich foods. I felt that it was amazing that I started to change bit by bit. I did not care about me myself more than I cared for my baby although I hadn’t seen him yet.

On Mar 29,2005, at 8 o’clock in the morning, my boy came into the world. After his first cry in the world, I realized that he –my boy – is here in my real life now. Holding this tiny little body in my arms, my heart was melted. This was the new life, new beginning; it was the most amazing feeling ever. I had my nose buried in his tiny body, I loved my boy’s smell, I loved to touch his tender skin gently, I loved to hold his tiny hands, tiny feet and kissed them again and again. ..I forgot my painful body. I became speechless, mindblown, my mind exploded with love.

From that moment, my life was no longer about shopping, fashion, dining anymore; it was more about how to become a good mother. I started to learn to cook baby meals and read books on taking care of a child. My boy’s new life brought me a new life. From a self-centered girl ,I became a insanely devoted mother.