The Best Self-Care Tip from a Chinese Traditional Doctor: Cultivating a Peaceful Mind

When people think about self-care, they often think of routines, services, products, and activities that make us feel good. But sometimes, the best advice is the simplest—even if it’s hard to follow. This summer, I visited a traditional Chinese doctor who is well-known for her skill in acupuncture in China. She has helped many patients, including my mom, who hurt her back last year.

This year, I visited her as well and hoped she to help my overall wellness. I asked her, “What’s the best way to stay healthy and practice self-care?” I expected her to share a list of healthy habits or remedies, but instead, she looked at me calmly and said, “Stay peaceful. Keep a peaceful mind and worry less.” Her response surprised me. It was such a simple idea, yet staying peaceful is easier said than done.

Staying peaceful isn’t easy.

To be honest, staying peaceful isn’t easy. Part of me almost wished the doctor had given me a simple list of things to buy or do—maybe some healthcare products, eating more specific foods, or some type of exercise I should add to my life. 

A peaceful mind feels like something only the truly calm or those who meditate regularly can achieve. But peace of mind isn’t just about our own mindset; it’s also affected by everything around us—our environment, the people we meet, and the events in our lives.

For example, I recently spent over two hours on hold for customer service, only to have the call disconnected after just two minutes of talking! Or some days, I feel great, but it only takes a short interaction with my frustrated teenager, which could disrupt my calm. Little things like these happen all the time and can easily throw off our peace of mind. It feels like we’re always dealing with situations that make staying peaceful a real challenge.

Another reason staying peaceful can be so hard is that we often put ourselves aside to seek approval from others. We care deeply about how others see us, and we constantly feel the need to prove ourselves. When we’re misunderstood or feel judged, it’s easy to feel stressed, and that sense of peace slips away. For instance, think about social media—how often do we spend time crafting the “perfect” post, only to feel anxious about the response? If we get fewer likes or if someone misinterprets what we share, it’s surprisingly easy to feel hurt or frustrated. This happens so often in daily life—whether it’s wanting to impress colleagues at work, living up to family expectations, or even just making a good impression with friends. When our sense of peace relies on others’ views of us, we’re giving away a piece of our calm.

Why a Peaceful Mind Is Important

The more I thought about it, the more I understood what she meant. We live in a world that constantly pulls us in different directions. There’s so much to keep up with—work, family, and endless notifications. This busy lifestyle can make our minds restless, filling us with worry and stress.

In Chinese medicine, there’s a strong belief that our mental state affects our physical health. Stress and worry can lead to poor sleep, digestive issues, and even weaken our immune system. So, having a peaceful mind isn’t just a nice idea; it’s important for our overall health. But finding peace in today’s world can be tough.

Steps to Find a Peaceful Mind

After the doctor’s advice, I began thinking about small steps to bring more peace into my life. Here are some simple ways we can try to calm our minds:

Building a peaceful mind is a personal journey, but here are some practical steps that can help bring calm into our daily lives:

1. Don’t Seek Others’ Approval—Focus on Doing the Right Thing
   Rather than worrying about what others think, stay focused on what you believe is right. Seeking constant approval only adds unnecessary stress. By trusting in our own values and actions, we can stay grounded and protect our inner peace.
2. Adapt to Situations Rather Than Trying to Control Them
   Life can be unpredictable, so learning to adapt can ease frustration. For example, if you know customer service calls often take time, try calling during less busy hours, or use that time to do housework. Shifting your mindset to expect some delays can help you feel prepared and reduce the stress of the unknown.
3. Avoid Being Picky—Appreciate People’s Differences
   We often have high hopes for our loved ones and want the best for them, but it’s important to recognize everyone’s unique strengths and weaknesses. Instead of focusing on things that irritate us, try to appreciate each person as they are. This approach can create more harmony in relationships, helping us feel calmer and more at peace.
4. Practice Breathing
   A few deep breaths can calm a racing mind. Practicing intentional breathing throughout the day is a simple but powerful way to bring our focus back to the present and release tension.
5. Develop Healthy Habits and Live for Yourself
   Set routines that prioritize your well-being, and remember that your life is yours to live. While we want to make others happy, it’s important not to lose ourselves in the process. When we live according to our own values and care for our own needs, we naturally feel more balanced and peaceful.

Finding Peace is an Ongoing Practice

Learning to let go of worry is hard. We like to feel in control, and it’s natural to stress over things that matter to us. But just like we build our physical health, working on a peaceful mind is something we can improve little by little.

The doctor’s advice reminds me that self-care is not just about routines; it’s also about letting go of what we can’t control. True peace starts within. It won’t happen overnight, but finding a little more peace each day is one of the best things we can do for ourselves.

I’m still working on this practice myself, and I invite you to join me. What’s one small way you can bring more peace to your day?

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